| Luna Flares is a Boutique Escort Agency with a selective portfolio of ladies available in London and for World-Wide Travel. Upon calling, you will always be greeted by myself, Vanessa, sole owner of Luna Flares. I aim to provide an honest and efficient service with a personal touch. I can assure you that all photos are recent and 100% genuine. |

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| Terrorist group claims responsibility for loss of your keys A moderate terrorist group contacted several national newspapers yesterday and claimed responsibility for the recent inconvenience when you were unable to locate your house keys. The shady underground terror cell known as ‘The Irritated Brigade’ are thought to have be an off-shoot from ‘The Red Anger Faction’ who broke away in the 1970s after a bitter dispute amongst the high command over paramilitary tactics and the choice of biscuits for meetings. More info from NewsBiscuit |

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